Most Common S3x Mistakes Keeping You From Your Orgasm
May. 13, 2020
This is super embarrassing to admit, but once upon a time you were known for bragging about your “abilities” to orgasm easily. Then, poof! Your superpower disappeared. It’s tempting to blame partners, and there are some who need a hand-drawn map in order to find certain erogenous zones, but given we’ve basically just learned the difference between a vagina and a vulva ourselves, it might be that we could use a little more education, too. After all, it’s complicated! tips for getting out of your own way in order to get yours. Here’s what to do when you’re having trouble orgasming:
You Copy What You See In Porn
While this may feel good for some, it won’t often (or even usually) lead to orgasm for most. Many of us orgasm from rubbing, grinding, rocking and sliding—when you rub up and down and side to side, it allows you to create friction against your clitoris—externally and internally (though our lips); this is more likely to lead to orgasm than a simply in-and-out motion (for most of us).
You’re Not Engaging In Foreplay
If you’re having trouble orgasming and you aren’t engaging in any foreplay when you have s*x with your partner, it’s a great place to start. Foreplay for 21 minutes or more increases the percentage of vulva-owners who orgasm during a s*xual encounter
You’re Not Communicating With Your Partner
According to a licensed s*x therapist, it’s important to tell your partner what works for you in bed, but not while you’re in bed. Instead, she suggests having a side conversation that’s more educational than in-the-moment instructional. After all, you can’t complain that your partner doesn’t know what they’re doing if you don’t tell them!
You’re Too Focused On Your Partner’s Pleasure
If you’re worried about what your partner is thinking, feeling, seeing, tasting and smelling, you cannot indulge in your own pleasure. If you’re willing to be a little more selfish, you’ll be less likely to have trouble orgasming.
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