I (28F) found out my husband (30M) has been using drugs.
Feb. 12, 2020
About 7 months ago my husband and I had a pretty big move, almost to the other side of the country. He started working and immediately I could tell he was acting different. I just initially thought it was him being stressed from working and what not. He is a recovered alcoholic, he drinks sometimes now in moderation but it’s been years since he was problematic with it.
Like I said his job has been stressing him out since the day he started. I noticed several changes in his behavior maybe a month after we moved here. My husband who was a mild mannered man, became short tempered, he would get frustrated at the smallest stuff and just shut down, argue with me over dumb stuff (laundry not done, dinner not cooked). I also noticed he had become more scatter brained, his mind went a mile a minute, he started losing his trading of thought, and getting distracted/spacing out, which is very unlike him. Then 2 of the other things I noticed were his irregular sleep patterns, some night he would be up in the living room watching his shows until he had to go to work again the next day with no sleep, and then other times he would go to sleep as soon as he walked in the door, wearing his work clothes, before he even ate. Then the last big thing is weight fluctuation, he kinda stopped eating regularly and just fit in meals wherever he wanted/could. He would blow up and get really big for a week or two then he would shrink down to the point where clothes were fitting him differently than in the other opposite. Initially I chalked all of this up to stress, and new lifestyle bugging him.
My husband gets up around 5 AM for work, while typically I am still knocked out in bed as I don’t work until a little later in the morning. He was running late this morning, he woke me up very abruptly asking if I had moved a pair of his pants because I do his laundry. I had no idea what he was talking about so I rolled over and went back to sleep. Eventually he left and was gone for the day. I woke up to ensue my morning routine, on our stairs leading to the front door I noticed a plastic baggie with 2 white rocks inside of it about the size of grapes, then a bunch of white powder residue in the bag as well. I examined it and from my conjecture I believe it is cocaine. We are the only two in the house, and it most definitely is not mine.
I spent all day thinking and didn’t say anything to him about it because I wanted to make sure I had my thoughts straight, and I didn’t want to jump to conclusions and most importantly I didn’t want him to think I had gone through his things and his this from me. When he got home he seemed fine, but he was being really inquisitive about my day (what did you do? Did you miss me? How was your day?) which as bad as it sounds, as of late is pretty uncharacteristic of him, so it really seemed as though he was trying to pry, or get me to say something, so I think he knows I found it but he never really said anything about it.
What do you guys think I should do? I don’t think this is a deal breaker or anything like that for me as long as he’s not doing it to the point where it is addiction, we all have our vices but it definitely does make me a little uncomfortable that this is his. I don’t want him to fall back into addictive habits, and I most importantly want him to be safe and I want him to be honest with me. How should I bring this up without making him feel like I’m attacking him, or like I was going through his stuff? I don’t want him to blow up on me, and I don’t want him to get the wrong idea about the situation. Where do I go next?
tl;dr I found drugs in my home and my husband and I are the only occupants and it isn’t mine, it’s a good bit and I just am kind of confused on where to go from here?
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