I’m not sure if my (21f) boyfriend (30m) of only 1 month knows my age, as he hasn’t ever asked me. He has mentioned he thinks big age gaps in ......
Jan. 13, 2020
I recently moved to a new town alone two months ago to start a job in my dream field. I instantly clicked with the only other woman in the office who was under 50 years old, an awesome and fun 30 year old girl who has a lot of the same interests as me. Being new to town she has taken me under her wing and introduced me to her friendship circle. I went to a few events with her friends and really hit it off with this cute guy. We’ve been seeing each other for about a month now so early days, but I really like him.
I know he is 30 because she mentioned to me that mid last year the whole group went away together to celebrate it. However when I’ve been with him my age has never come up in conversation. I honestly thought he knew I was 21, that my friend I work with must have mentioned it to him, but I was with him and another friend the other day and the conversation somehow turned to couples, and age gaps because of a TV show we were watching. My boyfriend made a comment like “wow that’s gross, I can’t fathom why a guy would ever date a girl that much younger than him, it’s creepy, why can’t he find someone his own age?”. The couple on the TV show had a 15 year gap. Now I know 15 years is a few more than 9 but it seems like a very strong statement to make. I just kinda sat there awkwardly because I didn’t know what to say especially with the other friend sitting there.
Before you ask, he doesn’t have social media (his job doesn’t allow him) so I don’t think he would know my age off there. I think he must just assume I’m around the same age of the rest of their group, as I don’t look very young.
So my issue is I don’t know if I should bring up our age gap seeing as he hasn’t actually asked me how old I am. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it because I don’t think it’s a big deal at all. Should I wait for it to come up naturally, which I’m sure it will very soon (I would never lie to him if he asked me) or should I just straight up confront him and say something like “hey you were saying you think big age gaps are gross, do you think our 9 year gap is gross?”. I don’t want to scare him away.
TLDR: my age has never come up in conversation before and I think my new bf assumes we are the same age. He has expressed a distaste for big age gaps. Should I wait for it to come up or bring it up.
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