My [27M] Fiancee [29F] is hurt that I said I would end things if she drove drunk again
Jan. 09, 2020
Little context, while on deployment my fiancee drove home drunk after a night out after I asked her not too in the past, I posted on here in case it sounds familiar. Once she sobered up I blew up on her and basically told her how serious this was too me and told her if she ever did it again we would be over. Since then she hasent driven intoxicated and even quit drinking all together until I got home and everything is all good now.
She has a work Christmas party coming up this weekend and she said she was going to go to the bars with her friends after, nothing too out of the ordinary. Tbh I'm not the biggest fan of this as most of our fights have occurred surrounding this topic but i tried my best not to let it show and told her to have fun and encouraged her to go. She asked me if this was going to cause a fight, I promised her no, she pried a little bit and I said I wasnt the biggest fan of it because of the issues that weve had before and I didnt want her to do something that would jeopardize our relationship (drinking and driving). But again promised her I wouldn't pick a fight and told her to have fun
That spiraled into her saying she thought it was unfair for me to expect her too never drink and drive again because while she didnt plan on doing it mistakes happen. She said it hurts knowing that she was one move away from it being over. That if she did it ten years from now I would divorce her (I cant imagine I would tbh). We went back and forth with her saying that she would never leave me over something like that or essentially anything, calling it a contingency. Saying that she obviously loves me more, if she ever drives drunk she just save me the trouble and go no contact with me. Everytime I would say love you she would say I love you more because I wouldn't break up with me over something like this or anything. And stuff of that nature basically saying it's unfair for me to say that if she drives drunk again I'll break up with her. Our conversation ended with me asking her to promise never to drive drunk again, and she said she couldn't promise that saying she could only say that she doesn't ever plan on it but mistakes happen. Now were at a stalemate and shes more or less guilt tripping me. I have a tendency to fold during our fights and pick my battles and this is something I'm not budging on. So Reddit am I being unreasonable or what should i do in this situation?I dont think I am but could use some outside input
TLDR: Fiancee thinks I'm unreasonable to ask her not to ever drive drunk again, dont know what to do.