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4.5 years together, living together for 4 months, and I want to breakup

K Sammy

Jan. 09, 2020

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years. He (28) lived with his parents his whole life, as did I (23). I figured it was for the same reason I did, to save a lot of money. I was able to save enough that I bought a house, in my name only, 5 months ago.
I was excited to live with him as we never had the opportunity, but it has been horrible. He was helpful while getting the house together but as soon as he moved in 4 months ago he has rarely helped around. I often times felt like his mother prior to moving in together but now that feeling has quadrupled. I can’t talk to him about how I don’t think he is helpful around the house or a good roommate because he then tells me I’m being mean? He is lazy and unmotivated and just sits on the computer almost every second he is not working.
I know this is a short amount of time to make this choice in, but it’s just exhausting. I can’t sleep well as he goes to bed at 4 AM and snores all night, waking me, a light sleeper and we can’t have an honest conversation about his habits because then I am a bully.
I reserve the right to kick him out as it is my home, but respect that this is new for him and takes adjusting. But I want to just tell him it’s over and he can take whatever he wants and find somewhere else to go in a reasonable time frame.
I am wondering if am I making a brash decision out of frustration/ is there a better way to handle this?
TL/DR: in a 4.5 year relationship, but have only been living together for a few months and it is making he realize this might not be something I want forever. Is it too soon to make that call and tell he has to move out?
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