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My partner (35F) of 1.5 years won't get rid of keepsakes from ex (I am 37M)


Dec. 02, 2019

Hi all. My partner (35F) and I (37M) have been together for about a year and a half. Long story short is a consistent point of contention is her connection to her ex. I don’t fear them getting back together but she is quite pedestrian in her approach to “moving on.” The latest is she still has pictures of her ex and the two of them up in her house. There is a specific picture(s) on a bookshelf that we’ve discussed now three times. I understand we both have a past and I accept we have our own history. I also know she still lives in the house she had when she was married. Regardless we discussed this honeymoon picture 2 times and I asked why she still had it up. She said it’s not like I sit here and look at it, I didn’t know it was there. Fair point. But I brought it up specifically twice. So in my mind after the first time is “oh I didn’t know it was up” is an opportunity to remove the picture. But she didn’t. So we discussed it a second time and I thought it was gone. Yesterday I noticed the picture was still up, but covered; not like covered in the frame, but rather another frame was just placed in front of it. So I asked about this and she said it’s not still up, I covered it. I said it’s still there, we discussed it several times, you know it made me upset (the second time I saw it) and you still didn’t take it down. The issue I’m having is not the picture itself (yeah it effing sucks to see that, but again we both have pasts), it’s her lazy approach to this. We discussed it, it upset me the second time (and now third) that it was still up. It would literally take 15 seconds to take it down and put it away or throw it away or do whatever. The problem I have is that she won’t take my upset or hurt or whatever serious enough to give me literally 15 seconds it takes to take the picture down. She thinks it’s no big deal. So I’m stuck bc I’m hurt. I feel as if I’ve explained my hurt, my feelings and also recognized hers. This was last evening. We talked briefly before bed on the phone and I asked if it was down. Nope. I asked her this morning on the phone. Nope. Still up. Am I wrong? Is it me? How do I handle this (or should I be handling it differently)? Thanks for any advice.
TL:DR My partner won't get rid of pictures of her and ex even after several discussions. My issue is not the pictures (I know we both have pasts) but her lazy/apathetic approach to my feelings and her lack of actions.
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