How do I [27M] get over a crush [25F] in the workplace?
Nov. 28, 2019
Apologies in advance for keeping some details vague and using a throwaway.
I've been happily married to my wife [26F] for the past 4 years and she and I been together since 17 & 16 respectively. We met in school and were each other's first kiss/love/anything. Despite a few minor hiccups along the way, I can honestly say this has been an incredible, growing relationship with a woman who I will love until I die.
We have your standard, run-of-the-mill monogamous & exclusive marriage, which both of us have honored without any issues. Neither of us has fooled around or cheated in the past 10 years (that I know of).
Over the past year or so, I've encountered a bit of an issue with a female coworker who I've known for 3 years now. We don't work closely since we're in totally different teams but she does seem to always end up placed nearby, so we've developed a fairly benign friendship mainly restricted to work. We get along really well, we have a lot of interests in common and rarely see each other outside work (the odd drink with others, etc).
To be honest I never took much notice of her for a long time, but over the past year her behaviour toward me changed significantly. She's become a lot warmer, more interested, makes time to talk to me or finds opportunities to hang out and despite being in denial about it for a long time, I've developed a bit of a crush on her. Against my better judgement I find myself wanting to talk to her more often, spend more time together and my whole perception of her has changed. She's also been single for a long time so I don't know if that has something to do with her shift in behaviour.
Before I go any further, I haven't acted on any of these feelings in a way that I think would cross any lines with my marriage. My wife and I communicate very openly and I've told her pretty much everything I've put into writing here. The problem is that she just teases me about it and laughs it off - I can't gauge if she's actually bothered by it. The other problem is also that I find myself thinking about this girl far more often than I should. And no -I don't intend to do anything about it, my hope is that the whole crush thing fizzles out.
Is this something that wears off over time? It's been months already. Should I try to cut off the connection (might be a bit hard unless I find a new job). I'm open to any suggestions here.
The other concern is that as far as I'm consciously aware, there's nothing missing from my marriage. It hasn't stagnated, I'm not looking for excitement; so what's driving this behaviour?
TL;DR: Happily married for several years but I've developed a crush on a coworker and I don't know how to get rid of it. Wife is aware and doesn't seem bothered by it.
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