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What are some “must have” qualities your SO needs to have for you to marry them?


Nov. 06, 2019

I (f28) have been with my SO (m38) for 4 years now and he has all the qualities a man has to be a great husband and father (responsible, respectful, self disciplined, funny, charismatic, professional, savvy, intelligent, financially stable, spiritually stable, emotionally intelligent, caring, helpful etc) but I still feel like something is missing. I don’t feel super in love and I don’t desire him sexually like that (sometimes I do but not all the time) and I don’t fantasize about him. He truly loves me and wants to marry and have children with me, which we’ve discussed but I’m not too enthusiastic about it. I’ve pictured a life with children with him but it doesn’t last too long.
What is it that I’m actually feeling? Usually the women are the ones to plan and initiate conversations about marriage and children but I don’t do that. He is the one who is mostly talking about it and wanting to make plans for it. I do want to get married. I do want to have children but why am I so laissez faire about it.
TL;DR: SO and I have been in a 4 year relationship but I don’t feel the spark and I’m not enthusiastic when discussing marriage. He has all the qualities I need in a man but I’m not as excited as I thought I would be. What’s wrong? Is this normal?
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