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He [34] didn't disclose that he had children. (I'm 32)


Nov. 06, 2019

Genuinely asking what would motivate a guy to not disclose the fact that he had children, to someone he is dating? I accept full responsibility for not asking [sooner]. He flips it to "I never said anything because you never asked." Essentially, it is/feels like a lie by omission. On a deeper level, I feel for him because I can't imagine what it must be to carry that secret.
Context: it's only been 8 months and it has been a long distance relationship. My recent GYN visit prompted a serious conversation about whether he'd slept with anyone since we met. He admitted he did for the first half because he thought he'd never see me again. Then I asked if he was married, he admitted that he "was" (the full backstory is a conversation yet to be had). I asked if he has children; he admitted to two: a boy and a girl.
As a daughter who grew up without their father, I can't continue whatever this is because I will always think of his daughter and the fact that the cycle of fatherlessness is now a part of her story. Despite our brief time together being an entirely positive thing/affair, the value of his words have significantly decreased henceforth. The pressure of constantly having to work extra hard to prove he is being truthful, will be a lot. For these reasons, I know this is over and am walking away.
I'm just curious. All perspectives and honest opinions welcomed.
TL:DR: Partner did not disclose having children or being (formerly) married, until I bright it up, 8 months in.
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