When I (27, M) take photos of other women my wife (25, F) gets upset, who is being unreasonable?
Oct. 06, 2019
I’m new to reddit, please be kind.
My wife (25, F) and I (27, M) have been married for two and a half years, and have been with each other for just over five years.
I work full time as a security consultant and my casual paid side gig is to photograph portraits and weddings, which I have been doing for 6 years and counting. Photography is a passion of mine and something I also enjoy doing as a hobby on weekends when we are out socialising.
As the photographer within our friendship circle I’m often asked to take photos of friends, which occasionally includes individual portraits of these friends at social events. Since marrying my wife, however, she has stated that she is uncomfortable when I take individual photos of women that aren’t her. A recent example is when I went to a flower show with some friends and had taken photos of my female friends, which she also got rather upset with. She’s asked that I find excuses not to take these photos when I’m asked by these friends, or that I consider changing my personality to be colder and thus less approachable in social situations.
The difficulty here is that I’m almost always the one being asked to take photos by friends, and I’ll almost always oblige. Hence, another aspect of this issue is that I’m not even the one initiating the photo request in social settings, and it makes my wife uncomfortable that this is happening.
In my head it sounds ridiculous that I need to actively come up with reasons not to be taking photos, but I want to find a compromise that would help in the future keep my wife from becoming upset because I get asked to take photos of our female friends.
I love my wife and her happiness is very important to me, but there is a real clash between her and my passion for photography. To clarify, I don’t see any issue with what I’m doing other than the fact that my wife is unhappy. I’m not romantically interested in any of our female friends and I take these photos (both male and female) purely because I enjoy capturing portraits. I have also already made the decision to stop building my portrait photography portfolio for the same reasons as above.
Reddit, can I get some input please? Am I or my wife being unreasonable? Are there any compromises or solutions that may work? Any suggestions or ideas would be appreciated.
TL;DR - I hang out with female friends in group settings and take their photo when they ask me to, my wife is upset as a result. What do I do?