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GF’s (33F) comment is in my (34M) head


Sept. 15, 2019

To start: I’m an average looking guy. Tall (6’3) but slim, pale skinned, certainly not turning any heads in the streets. I am, however, good natured, funny, very charming, and quite successful. I’ve always been the type of guy who dated a bit out of his league and my current girlfriend of 8 months is no exception.
She hasn’t always made me feel great about myself physically. There have been plenty of small comments about “growing my hair longer,” “getting some sun,” “doing some squats,” etc. that I took in stride, mostly because of the fact that my self confidence has never come from my appearance. But they weren’t the nicest things for someone to say. All that said, she is extremely into me- asks me constantly about moving in together, our future, etc. She has said many times that I am The One.
My girlfriend has a group of friends who are wonderful people, many of whom have pulled me aside on occasion to tell me how much they like me and been rather emphatic about it. It’s clear they think I’m great for her. Today we were at a pool party (not my most confidence inspiring scene for obvious reasons) with them, and one of her friends is going through a difficult breakup. My girlfriend- pretty intoxicated- said in front of a number of people something like “Honestly I’ve learned that you have to pick a nice guy and not a good-looking guy.” It was a pretty cringey moment for everyone there, most especially myself. I laughed it off but it’s really shaken my confidence. I’ve always known I wasn’t that guy, but having it stated so blatantly in front of everyone else really got to me in a surprising way.
I don’t know what to do here. I’m not even sure it’s worth talking about because there isn’t any un-saying it for her. But I feel like the wind has been completely taken out of the sails of the relationship. I have no desire to kiss her, touch her, have sex with her, etc because all I can think about is how underwhelming or even disgusting it is for her.
TL;DR GF(33F) made comment to me (34M) and her friends that I was a “nice guy not a good looking guy” and now I feel physically detached.
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