My 50F husband 52M has a horrible relationship with my son 16M and it's affecting our marriage
Sept. 10, 2019
Hi! So I'm a mom to twins (16F and 16M) and a younger son (14M)
My husband as always been a hardworker, very resilient, reliable, strong man but also quite opinionated and not really emotional, really stoic. He's a career man and really into sports.
My daughter and youngest son are a lot like him, no problem there.. However, my oldest son is a complete opposite. He learning difficulties but is an amazing artist, both a musician and a photographer. He's also sensitive but it's made him the kindest soul I know. He's popular because he's a musician and invited a girl with Down syndrome to sing with him at the school's annual show, that's the kind of young man he is and I couldn't be prouder.
My husband however.. dislikes everything he is. He doesn't understand that him being artistic and not into numbers and business doesn't make him stupid and unambitious.. he mistakes his kindness and sensitivity for weakness.. he never listened to one of his compositions, refuses to go to his shows, never looked at one of his photography projects.. he basically doesn't talk to him while maintaining a great relationship with our two other kids and attends EVERY single one of their sports events (a cheerleader and a football player).. it's made me resent him so much! Last straw was when my son's girlfriend left him a week ago, he came home in tears (understandably!!) while I go to hug him, my husband left and said: I'll come back when you're ready to talk like a man.. Really?!?
Now we almost haven't spoken in a week. I tried to approach the subject and he only says you can't force affinities with someone.. this is not the man I married! Otherwise, our relationship is amazing but this disgusts me.. I don't know how to deal with this.. I love this man so much but if it ever comes down to this I'll chose my children over him
Édit 1: From what I understood it's partially my fault since I always encouraged my son in his artistic projects instead of siding with my husband and try to get him "on the right track"
Édit 2: Husband is the father to all three of the kids
TL;DR my husband is mean to my oldest son and it's putting a great strain on our marriage