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4 Things To Tell Yourself When Fighting With Your Lover

Aba Brew

July. 30, 2020

For those who feel like that first fight spells out the end of the world, here are 4 things you need to remind yourself of when you’re mid-argument.
#1 Arguing doesn’t spell a breakup. Arguing with your mate doesn’t automatically spell a breakup in the near future. In fact, arguing can be healthy for a couple. Both parties in a mature relationship should always be of the mindset that what is bad is only bad in that moment. You love each other enough to work through whatever is going on, and that’s a comforting thought.
#2 Watch your mouth! Words can leave scars. 
It’s certainly easier said than done while you’re in the moment, but at least try to remember the feelings of the person on the receiving end of your harsh words. This is someone you love. Are you sure you want to throw hurtful words at them?
#3 You’ve had worse. No matter how bad this argument may seem in the moment, you’ve likely had louder, angrier, longer fights in the past. This too shall pass! Try to view your current trial as an opportunity to make your relationship stronger and strengthen your communication skills.
#4 You need to own it. One of the hardest things to do, especially during or after a heated argument, is to apologize when you are wrong. If you have any responsibility in why you and your mate are fighting, own it. 
You may find that by taking that first step to admit you were wrong, and sincerely apologizing for it, your partner will quickly follow suit. In the calmest voice you can muster, say you’re sorry and try to come up with a way to ensure that you both do what it takes to avoid another blowup.
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