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My (29M) wife (27F) lost her job, is not taking it well, and I need help being supportive.
ENG kizza|Aug. 09, 2019
A lot of information here, TL;DR at the bottom.
My wife is a teacher and had a position at a high school for 4 years, but due to budget cuts she was excessed (she lost her position in that high school, but not her job with the department of education).
Relevant: At the beginning of the school year, a new principal was brought in, and made a lot of changes to how the school was managed. This resulted in a lot of difficulty and conflict over the course of the year between the teachers, parents, and administration. Eventually the principal was found to be ineffective and was removed from the school. More on that a little later.
In June, the principal called my wife into her office to break the news that she had been let go due to budget cuts, and we were both very upset. It’s been a hard year for us; we lost her mom to cancer, and we moved out of our home of 6 years into an old house that we’re renovating. It’s been a lot of work, and we’re still not done. So I’m upset because I feel like her job was the last bit of stability she had in her life, and losing it ripped the rug out from under her.
Since receiving the news, she hasn’t done much to find a new position, and has said that she doesn’t want to because “what’s the point, I worked so hard for four years and they just threw me out for no reason”.
I try to be supportive and reassure her that she is a good teacher and any school would benefit from her being there, and I haven’t pushed her to apply anywhere because I want to give her time and space to process, but it’s August now, and we just found out last week that the principal was removed from her position at the school.
My wife has taken this to mean “I just got my job back”. She called me, very excited to tell me the news and very hopeful about getting her position back. I gently told her that while it was good to hear that the principal was removed, that didn’t necessarily mean that her position was now open, and to not get her hopes up too high.
She was supposed to go to a DOE job fair the next day, and she skipped it because she was sure that once she talked to the assistant principal, she would get her position back. He was on vacation until this past Tuesday, and she cut class today (she’s in grad school) to go and see him at the high school, because he hadn’t returned any of her calls.
He told her that they couldn’t give her position back. I haven’t talked to her yet and gotten the details because I’m at work, but she asked me to come home early. I haven’t been sleeping well and am stressed out with my own work life and I am really having trouble imagining how to handle this and support her without it coming off as an “I told you so”. That’s not how I feel, but I want to be able to help her towards moving on to find a new position somewhere. How do I do this?
TL;DR: wife got fired from her teaching job by a principal who mismanaged the school, hasn’t accepted it and seems stuck and reluctant to find a new job, principal got fired and wife thought this meant she’d get her job back, she didnt, how do i help her move on?
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