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Stephen Colbert's Bit on Jeff Sessions Crumbles Like Cookies


Nov. 08, 2019

That’s the way the cookie crumbles, even in comedy.
On Thursday night’s Late Show , host Stephen Colbert got a somewhat embarrassing reminder of this old adage when the props he had lined up for a bit about former Attorney General Jeff Sessions — cookies in the shape of a Keebler elf — unexpectedly came apart as the started his routine.
Sessions was back in the news one year after leaving Trump’s cabinet because earlier that evening on Fox News he had declared his 2020 candidacy to recapture his old Alabama Senate seat. Noting that President Donald Trump continues to berate his former cabinet appointee, Colbert teed up an apparent mock-interview with Sessions.
“With long odds and the president promising to publicly attack him, what could Jeff Sessions be thinking?” Colbert said, as he stepped off-screen briefly only to quickly return and hold up to the camera a cookie in the shape of a Keebler Elf, which bears a striking resemblance to Sessions. “Joining us now to tell us is the man himself, former Attorney General Jeff Sessions!”
“Thank you, Stephen,” Colbert began in a drawl impersonating Sessions, but the cookie was already beginning to break. “I’m coming apart! Uh oh! Uh oh! I’m coming apart at the seams!”
“Let me get a fresh version of me!” Colbert said, flipping the broken cookie back over his shoulder.
“There you go! Here we go! This one’s broken, too.” he noted in frustration, tossing that one backwards as well. “Is there another one? Those are the only two we had?” a clearly perplexed Colbert said, flitting around the stage.
“Hold on, I’ll be right back!” he said, running back to where the remnants of the second cookie landed as the crowd laughed and cheered.
Trying to piece together the cookie — and the bit — Colbert pleaded in his defense: “We had, like, eight for rehearsal!”
“We had a lot more of these cookies in rehearsal,” Colbert repeated, before succumbing to reality and simply taking a big bite. “We gotta great show for you tonight!”
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