I (21f) am horrifically shallow and not attracted to bf (20) after he got a chinstrap
Feb. 08, 2020
Tldr: bf of over a year changed his beard and Im totally unatracted to him physically.
I know I'm being awful. I want to change and sexual attraction shouldn't be this big of an issue. I love him with all my heart, he's a saint who's never once judged me for my own appearance, who would never turn away from me if i did something crazy with my appearance, heck i could grow a second head and he'd still probably look at me the same, we've been to hell and back together, I want to marry this man one day, he wants to marry me, I love his beautiful eyes, his inner strength, he's kind, funny, loving, I want to hold him tight and take on the world together..and gauge my eyes out.
He recently he changed his short, full, well kept beard into a creepy looking chinstrap thing (no mustache or hair around the mouth/chin, just a band of thick hair awkwardly framing his face) and I'm having trouble looking at him. Its his body his choice and all that but it's distracting, like he came home with a face tattoo or decided to only dress in clown makeup, a major facial change, I would stick by him if he got horribly scarred or something but it feels different being such a deliberate look. It's not like it's the first time he's changed appearance, he does often, didn't even have a beard when we met, but this...ugh.
He went from litteraly the most attractive man I've ever SEEN let alone known (not an exaggeration he was distractingly good looking) to a face I'm almost totally physically unattracted to. He was always cute, fell in love with him when he was just cute, beardless, the handsomeness grew with time, but with this look I'm actually turned off when he kisses me. Still emotionally deeply attracted, but personally to me it looks silly, douche-y, ugly, something a highschooler who didn't know how to keep his hair or an old goat herder might have. I can't find one nice thing to say about it and i know he wants me too. He loves it.
It's this, or cleanshaven (baby faced and no chin, no jawline..), or a Guy Fieri type goatee, which seems worse. Basically the only hairstyles he likes are the three I can't stand on him and I need to learn to be less shallow.
Ever since seeing him with a short beard, or even just stubble, it's all I'm attracted to. I love everything else about him, but don't want to get intimate anymore.
I need advice on getting over that feeling and making myself attracted to him again.
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