My wife of 4 years (30s F) gets very very upset if I (30s M) disagree with how she arranges our home and in particular my things
Sept. 08, 2019
My wife likes things to be well-arranged. Or, perhaps I should say that sometimes , she likes things to be very clean and well-arranged.
She always complains about my things not being arranged to her liking. And I've honestly done my best to accommodate her.
I keep my desk more or less arranged, I put my things away in my space, I do the dishes, vaccuum, and mop the floor, etc. I'm not perfect, but I don't really feel like it's normal or healthy to constantly clean things.
Anyway, before her period, she goes nuts with cleaning and organizing, scrubbing the shower, rearranging things in our cabinets, rearranging things on my desk, and rearranging other things that I use like my protein powder and supplements.
It's not so much that I mind that she's cleaning, it's just that when she's done, I often can't find things and have to then spend time looking for them or ask her where they are. I've told her that I dislike her going through all of my things and rearranging them because then I can't find anything, but she seems to think that she has the right to clean and arrange things because the way I organize my things is not sufficient for her.
She typically gets really upset when I ask her not to rearrange my things. She screams, "fuck you", over and over again and tells me that she is the only one that does any housework, which is patently false.
Today, she decided to put my supplements in sealable jars. I asked her why. She doesn't use the supplements, though she can if she wants. I buy them and am the only user.
For me, the original sealable bag or container is fine and I like to keep the things I use daily on the counter so I can easily access them (I recently had surgery so I'm temporarily disabled right now and am currently in a wheelchair). Filling another jar with a small amount to use for a week and refilling again just seems like a waste of energy.
I told her I didn't like it and she got really, really angry and started screaming and slamming things around before storming off into another room. Now she won't talk to me. And probably won't for the next day or so.
I really don't think her behavior is normal. It's one thing to disagree, but it's another entirely to scream and to be verbally abusive.
TLDR; My wife gets really upset and verbally abusive if I object to how she arranges my things.
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